It's funny how I see the bars of my cage everywhere.
I see them in what makes other people comfortable. In relationships, family, steady work. In friendships. In finding someone or something desirable. Even in having this blog. In all the strings that come attached with anything we do. I see them even inside my head, drawing lines. Enclosing and creating meaning and at the same time imprisoning me.
It could be almost funny how what we perceive as reality is fictional. More and more I realize that there is no such thing as reality. There is only a haphazard splashing of meaning on a canvas made from nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have seen people going crazy. I know the next irrational act one can do is but a hair away from the semblance of "reality", from that fever dream we live on a daily basis. People grabbing a shotgun and creating yet another bloodbath. People snapping and killing someone they love. It doesn't take long, or much for someone to be unhinged. I have seen the sly beasts hiding behind the eyes of parents, I have seen the hand that caresses killing with the same ease.
Right now I am living a normal life.
The more I look inside the more I comprehend I am none of the things I like or do.
There is nothing I cannot do, or cannot become.
I do have a personality, but personality is mostly a creation of habit. Habits can change and that small creature of habit called personality can die a silent and effective death.
Do I want to do it? Now that's a question.
Do I want to become everything?
Oh hell yes.
I have seen behind the veil and there is nothing there.
[Beautiful art by heise.deviantart.com]